Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dust or Dirt: You Make the Call

I saw this at Wal-Mart and thought "God Recycles? Is this an endorsement or something?" But then I knew something was up when I saw this:


Oh no! Not the church too!!! Dirt, Dust, both so close!

8/1/11
Wal-Mart
Cleburne, TX


and

8/15/11
Cleburne, TX

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Solitary Confinement

I know this is an awful picture, but this old man is playing solitaire while driving! Old people, driving and computers do not mix! Abort mission. ABORT!

8/17/11
67-Busniess
Cleburne, TX

Say What?


Your guess is as good as mine.

King Buffet
8/29/11
Cleburne, TX

Good News!


Just wanted to thank everyone that has been coming to my site. If you didn't know already, this page has officially had over 5,000 views now! What a milestone! Thanks again for all the pictures, stories and comments you have sent my way.

In honor of this, I decided it was time to get a new camera for my random photo opportunities. I hope the next six months of my blog will provide a laugh to you when you need it most (and I think we all need a laugh from time to time).

Shell

Monday, August 29, 2011

Pretty Woman


I'm not sure if taking fashion tips from the movie "Pretty Woman" is ever a good thing.

8/19/11- Texas Tax Free Weekend
Kohl's
Burleson, TX

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Statutory Fun

While having to take a detour one I found this house and what appears to me a collection of small statues.


I wanted to get out of the car and take more pictures over the fence, but the homeowners pulled up in the driveway right at the same time I was taking the picture. This is the best I could do:


I wonder if each statue marks the grave of each one of their departed Cat Children.

8/19/11
Cleburne, TX

Dickin' Around


















I was driving around and found this little guy on the way back to work from lunch.

8/2/11
Coleman Elementary
Cleburne, TX

The Dating Game: Lethal Weapon

This week on The Dating Game you will find three bachelors that like to show me how they use their weapons. You know the rules, all the men live within 20 miles of me and were found on a popular dating website. Let the blood bath for my love begin!!

Bachelor #1: Mr. Mack the Knife
Dating never looked more scary.

Bachelor #2: Mr. Party at the CIA
There was nothing to indicate this was a Halloween costume in the picture nor did he provide a caption. I must assume he is the neighborhood vigilante and just walks around looking like this. 
Bachelor #3: Mr. When Life Gives You Lemons
He might not have a gun or a knife, but he has off brand lemon cleaner and wants to show you how he works it.



As impressive as these fine men are, I must remain single for yet another week.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Gone Fishing

Yes, It's true...I have no shame. So, before a funeral I was looking around the funeral home and found this:



I have never see a funeral arrangement quite like this. But wait, it gets better:



Oh yeah, "Gone Fishing"? I would like to note that each arrangement was $250! I am in the wrong line of work. Pass me the hot glue gun.

8/8/11
Greenwood Funeral Home
Fort Worth, TX

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ex-Squeeze Me?

I was looking for something at CVS and I came across this:
Since I have the mind of a 13 year old boy apparently, I decided to take a picture. Then I flip it over.


It even has a "hand guide" of how to squeeze it!

8/24/11
CVS
Cleburne, TX

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Dating Game: Drinking Edition

The search is still on for the most eligible bachelor's of the DFW area. This time I am featuring what I will call the Drinking Edition. Nothing says I am serious about commitment like a good picture of you drunk. As always, the men featured were found on a popular online dating site and live within 20 miles of me. Let the drinking begin!


   Bachelor #1: Mr. Friends In Low Places
   He decided to protect the innocent, but what he should have done was not post this  picture.

Bachelor # 2: Mr. Drinking with my Homies.
Nothing shows you have your priorities more clear than this. Nothing.                      
 



         
          Bachelor #3: Mr. Life of the Party
          The person that messaged me was the man on the left, but I am more intrigued with
          how the man on the right can look so serious yet have a tie on his head.


As always, Date Responsibly.




Friday, August 19, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hick Town, USA


Why do I have to work in a town that has "Goatneck" Registration?

7/29/11
Cleburne, TX

Hallmark Card


I didn't know any old lady actually dressed like this. Looks like something from those Maxine Hallmark cards.

8/2/11
Cleburne, TX

Monday, August 15, 2011

HIPPA Violation


Another picture from my favorite church. They better had Satan sign a confidentially release for this one. But on the way out of the parking lot I noticed they had a new sign posted:


Hummm...sounds very "us vs. them".

8/10/11
Cleburne, TX

Not to Scale


Either those are the smallest pair of sissors I have ever seen or they used a gaint as a hand model.

8/11/11
Big Lots
Cleburne, TX

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Southern Charm


It appears someone tested the "Back Off or Pay For It!"

8/9/11
Alta Mesa and Crowley Road area
Fort Worth, TX

Friday, August 12, 2011

Hold On


One of my probationers called me from this number. "XXX Ranch" ? Really? This can't be good.

8/12/11
Officer Gayler's Office
Cleburne, TX

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Dating Game: Heat Wave


As many of you know, Dallas/Fort Worth have been having a major heat wave for over a month now. I thought everyone would like a nice cool down as a break from the heat. My solution: Hit up the dating site! Nothing cools me down quite like the men that message me. Back by popular demand meet the next wave of eligible bachelors: 

 

Bachelor #1 - Mr. Sunshine of His Life

This is probably just the probation officer in me talking, but anytime I see a grown man in front of a child's background I think "Hey kids, want to touch my candy bar?" 



Bachelor #2- Mr. Sexy Branch

It's hard to pose on a branch and look sexy, but I think this guy nailed it.



Bachelor #3 - Mr. Scary Break Room Guy

I will give the guy some props for taking the same picture in the same spot and the same exact angle,  but why on earth would you pick this place to take you picture!






Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Housekeeping


I get that you don't want me to steal the towels. But don't assume I am stupid. I know a "small fee" is not $75. Geeezzzz...

8/5/11
Comfort Suites
Gainsville, TX

Old Flame


Should I get my Nana one?
(Please note the reflection of my super sweet "Random Photo" wagon).

8/5/11
Target
Burleson, TX

The "Back to School Must Have"


What kind of "Back 2 School" specials is a strip club offering? Maybe a back door special...

8/7/11
Everman Pkwy and I-35W
Fort Worth, TX

Salty


Is salt a spice? I think not.

7/27/11
Cleburne, TX

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Carried Away

Anyone who works in Cleburne knows just how crazy the Subway can be at lunch time. It's a super small location yet it is always packed at lunch. I walk in and see this:




As you can tell there is a long line and this man thought it would be okay to bring in a Big Lots cart into the restaurant.

As you can see he is blocking the way to get to the drink station. While I was in line a 12 year old boy was standing next to me and he asked "How did he get that in here? Can that go through the door?" Later we both saw the answer to his question:

Like the parting of the sea, everyone in Subway had to make room for his grand exit.

8/3/11
Subway
Cleburne, TX

Friday, August 5, 2011

Creepy Janitor


I get off the elevator at work and I see this. No one is around. All I see is "Custodial Creeper". When I was in school we always had a creepy janitor but this person didn't even leave any mystery.

8/3/11
Guinn Justice Center
Cleburne, TX

Ridiculous


I am not sure about you, but I don't want to smell like Ludacris. I couldn't imagine saying "Well, this one has Ludacris on it" Winner."
8/3/11
Big Lots
Cleburne, TX

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Model of Perfection

From time to time I post submissions that my friends email me. This is one of those posts.


Looks like a normal Black truck, but take a closer look:

Awwwwwww Yeahhhhh.

Submitted by Abby on 7/7/11
West Plano, TX

Take A Lap


Funny thing is, I called several coaches by this name too.

8/1/11
1187 and I-35
Burleson, TX

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Some People Are Just Assholes


Same Sex Marriage in New York goes in effect today and this is how Cleburne shows their appreciation.

8/1/11
Walnut and Smith
Cleburne, TX