Thursday, December 29, 2011

Smart Ass



I was driving into the parking lot at work and saw this. A man with a Donkey and Cart, like in Mexico. Look at that homemade saddle on the donkey made with a 2x4. Let's get a close up of that:



 
Poor Donkey.

12/28/11
204 S. Buffalo
Cleburne, TX

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Frankentruck - Another Sighting


From time to time I get email submissions from my "fans". For all of those that loved Frankentruck, here is another sighting! This time we see the front of this magnificent beast. I would like to see if anyone can get a picture of themselves with the truck.

This was also reported about the driver: "Driver of said vehicle had same arm on the same seat... new info is ... MULLET! Thought he was wearing a coonskin hat at first but nope... just big poofy hair."

Thanks for the submission! To see the original post click here.

Submitted by Jason H.
12/28/11
Burleson, TX

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Good Book


I found this awesome book for sale in the "Nostalgic" section the other day. It was published in 1942. Being the history nerd I am, I thought it might be fun to see how (or even if) we have progressed as a soceity on this subject. On one of the pages I spot this:

                   

              

I had no idea "married" was a physical state?

12/24/11
Bought at Half Price Books
Burleson, TX

Saturday, December 24, 2011

1912


I know I just turned 29, but I didn't think I looked 99?

12/24/11
City Market
Burleson, TX

The Network


I guess God is seeking other ways to communicate with the people of Texas.

12/5/11
JcPenney
Burleson, TX

Camping to the MAX


Found this while Christmas shopping. It's the Coleman MAX and I loved the tag line...


"Camp Like You Mean It". Is it just me, but if you were really camping "like you mean it" would you really be lugging around a camping chair with 2 cup holders?

12/16/11
Wal-Mart
Cleburne, TX

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas Tacky #3 - The Sweater Twins


You can't see it very well, but the cats on the sweaters have mistletoe attached to their tails. What the hell do you want me to kiss? Poor old guy.

12/21/11
Kroger
Crowley, TX

Monday, December 19, 2011

Beat It


Nothing is scarier than a clown. Nothing. Even beating the crap out of it in order for candy to pour out is freaky.

11/22/11
H-E-B
Cleburne, TX

Frankentruck

I have been trying to get a picture of this thing for 2 years! Every time I see it I am going the wrong direction to get a pic. The pictures are horrible since it was dark and I really didn't feel comfortable using flash.


Yes, this guy is chilling (see that hand up on the passenger seat...ohhhh yeahhhh...) in what appears to be Corvette/Truck. I went ahead and changed lanes in order to get a side view.


Check out that body kit! One day I will get a better picture, but I swear this truck is my "Bigfoot". I know it exists, but hard to explain to others. Plus all the pictures I take are kind of blurry like the amateur home videos. 

I hope this blog post did not offend anyone that drives a real Corvette.

11/25/11
FM1187 and I-35
Burleson, TX

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Chester the Molester


A van with blacked out windows, kids bikes and an ocean landscape painted on the side can never be shady. Right?

11/21/11
South bound I-35W
Burleson, TX

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Parking Job


I know this is a crappy picture, but almost every time I go see my BFF this guy is parked so bad that no one can ever get the spot next to him. He's ride isn't that awesome to justify the the 2 spot parking job. I went to the other side of the car and it appears I am not alone in my feelings.


My thoughts exactly!
12/3/11
Burleson, TX

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Putting it Out There


Some people do online dating, others use shoe polish.

11/19/11
Target
Burleson, TX

Monday, December 12, 2011

My Trip to the Dollar Store

While everyone was at the mall on Black Friday, I decided to go to the happiest place on earth: The Dollar Store. Yes, nothing says the holidays more than a trip to a ghetto Dollar Store. I wanted to share some of the great options you have this holiday season. I know I have some last minute holiday shoppers reading my blog and I think the following gifts stand the test of time.


Gift Option #1: The Rhino Bust
What person wouldn't like a bust of a Rhino? They must be a Communist not to like this. No way will they already have this!



Gift Option #2: Get Your Hair Did
Granted this was in the kid's section, but I see no reason this can't be incorporated into everyday wear. Nothing like the timeless style of green hair on a headband.



Gift Option #3: The Headless Groom
For the man who just won't take a hint.


11/25/11
Dollar Tree - Hulen St.
Fort Worth, TX

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hairy Situation

While home sick this week, I got bored and watched day time television. The contestants on this show were already pissing me off my missing simple questions, but this guy had something special going on:



This has to be the worst hair I have ever seen on TV. Let's get a closer view:



Yep. WORST. HAIR. EVER.


12/8/11
Who Want's To Be A Millionaire
Viewed at the Gayler Estates

Life's Not Fare


Just how much is the "Fare"?

12/10/11
KFC
Burleson, TX

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas Tacky #2 - The Ornament


It's Christmas and you have your choice of any 2 ornaments for $10. Here are your choices: Elvis (young or fat), Any Member of KISS, or Snooki. I just ran away as fast as I could.

12/7/11
Walgreens
Cleburne, TX

Friday, December 9, 2011

Level Headed


I am a "cemetery comber" from way back and I have seen a lot of things left at gravesides. Once I saw a 6-pack of Pearl Beer. I even saw an order of fries sitting on a headstone once. A level though...this is the most random thing yet! I mean, the beer and the fries might have been something the person enjoyed. A level? Yeah, I have no idea.

12/2/11
Rose Hill Cemetery
Cleburne, TX

Christmas Tacky #1


While in the car with my BFF, we drove by this house and noticed they put out a "few" decorations. While most would notice the large inflatable figures first, I noticed something else. Check out that garage door!


Yep. Wrapped presents on the door. I wonder what they will look like after a good rain storm.

12/2/11
Burleson, TX

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Wrap It Up

This was the garbage disposal I bought awhile back for my house. Please note the Gift Wrap option for $9.99. I should have gone for it.  I mean, a gift wrapped Garbage Disposal...that's living large.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sunday, December 4, 2011

To Nut or Not To Nut


I think of "Nutin'" as slang for masturbation. If you think of that way, this sign gets way more interesting.

11/22/11
Cleburne, TX

Things That Make You Go Ewwwww


Blueberry Muffin Pudding? Barf...This is almost as bad as the pudding I found in 2009:

Bow down to the King of all gross puddings.

11/21/11
Kroger
Cleburne, TX

and

May 2009
Tom Thumb
Mansfield, TX

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Skull & Bones



I really wish the hood ornament would come back into style.

11/19/11
Burleson, TX

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hillbilly Christmas


If this wreath made of shotgun shells wasn't tacky enough, it also lights up. Or you can just get a strand of lights that you can keep on your house all year long...



11/27/11
Hallmark
Burleson, TX

Monday, November 28, 2011

Incense and Peppermints


Flowers and peace signs. When did my car become so conservative!

11/19/11
Hobby Lobby
Burleson, TX

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Black Sabbath

With yet another Black Friday come and gone, I thought I would share with you images from my favorite church on which I will call this day Black Sabbath.

Because God has nothing better to do than give you a favor. Screw the starving people of the world, you need your Xbox. 11/9/11


All I can think of when I saw this was Loch Ness. 11/10/11

I had a friend in the car with me at the time of this find and let's just say we were both shocked. "God Loves Gluttons". Maybe it should be "God Forgives Gluttons". Only in America can we have such greed and have it approved by God. 11/26/11

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Peanut Butter Jelly Time


Since today is Thanksgiving, I felt it appropriate to post this billboard about being Vegetarian. Now, I am a vegetarian, but this lady has to be the worst example of what a vegetarian looks like. We are not all scary pale, overweight and sad looking. I also found this billboard out of place since this is in one of the most conservative states, TEXAS!! I wasn't even close to Austin.

11/14/11
Conroe, TX

The Thanksgiving Cake

 The following are examples of why Cakes and Thanksgiving don't go together:


Only in Texas I swear! Check out that Ham Cake in the background too. The thought of a Ham Cake freaks me out.

$41.50! I am totally in the wrong profession. Check out that Turkey cake in the background wearing a Tux. No matter where you stand, it's always staring at you.


11/9/11
H-E-B
Burleson, TX

Happy Thanksgiving!


I think this turkey was doing a protest against buying Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving.

11/19/11
Home Depot
Burleson, TX

Happy Thanksgiving from Shells!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Fuzzy Wuzzy


Sometimes a girl needs to keep her fuzzy hand cuffs in a place for easy access.

11/14/11
Galveston, TX

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Dating Game: Freak Show

 I have not posted "The Dating Game" for awhile and I apologize. It's not because I have a lack of content, but have been busy with other things in my life. In this installment I will showcase some of the pictures I should have posted for Halloween. Just remember, all the guys featured live within 20 miles of me and have contacted me on a free dating site.

Bachelor #1: The Joker
When this is one of the more normal pictures you have posted I see a huge red flag.  Plus I don't think think this is a good profile picture for "everyday" use.



Bachelor #2: Mr. Come Smell My Flower
Unless you are trying to pick up kids with your dating profile, there is no woman alive that would find this "hot".


Bachelor #3: Mr. Big and Tall

Some angles are never good. Period.

Slow Ride


What does it say about me when I noticed the license plate frame was upside down first?

11/5/11
Westcreek and Alta Mesa
Fort Worth, TX

Another Round...


This is one reason I hate living in the south.

10/23/11
Target
Burleson, TX